Monday, January 4, 2010

twenty ten pounds heavier

We're four days into 2010, and any hint of a resolution to lose weight has been squashed into submission by the 8 pounds of cookbooks I got for Christmas.

Yes, I weighed them.

And then I weighed myself and the scale's cries reverberated throughout NAS Lemoore.

And then Jason got me a happy yellow bookshelf so I can keep said 8 pounds of cookbooks in the kitchen instead of having to haul my cookbook-heavy butt down the hall to get them off of my office bookshelf (which would take my time away from churning out peanut butter ice cream pies).


I've noticed that a lot of recipes these days call for a food processor. I am Amish behind the times and do not have a food processor. You may have noticed that there's a peanut butter-covered potato masher in the measuring cup above. That is because my blender did not take kindly to being asked to combine two cups of peanut butter with a quart of soy ice cream, so I had to scrape all that gooeyness out of the blender and combine it the old-fashioned way: with ingenuity and elbow grease. As a result, my pie turned out to be peanut butter chunk ice cream pie. I love peanut butter, so to me it is almost better with the unblended peanut butter pockets in there, but that's not what the recipe intended.

I also used a premade Oreo crust rather than making my own--the recipe says to process vegan chocolate cookies (like Oreos, minus the filling) into crumbs, but... no food processor. I suppose I could have put them in a plastic bag and used a rolling pin to crush them, but there's only so much DIY assembly I can take before I reach my manual labor quota for the day. I have to save some energy for my fork-to-mouth bicep curls.

For my next recipe, I'm thinking I'll skip the middleman and make something I can stuff in my mouth sans fork: chai spice cookies.

Oh, and in a sign that the apocalypse is approaching... Crazy Navy Wife came up to me on New Year's Eve while I was unloading rum and paper towel groceries from the car, informed me that they were having a party and that we were welcome to come on over, and then semi-apologized for being such a heinous monster. We didn't go, despite her promise of "plenty of alcohol"--I'm not trying to do anything irresponsible in front of someone who has already threatened to call the police on me for driving down my own street. Next time I see her patrolling the block, though, I'll smile and wave. It can't hurt to feign pleasantries.

4 comments:

Brittany Ann said...

Wow! Crazy Navy wife sure did a 180! Still, seems fishy...

And seriously, that pie! Yum!

Classy in Philadelphia said...

Ummm, I want to go bake now after reading this. Yum yum.

Hope to see you tomorrow for Where In The World Wednesday!

Jamie said...

Dude, I don't have a food processor* or bread maker or blender or any other crazy kitchen gadgets either. We don't even have an electric can opener. Everything is done by sheer will power. But it makes things taste better, I think.

*Okay, we actually have a food processor but we don't use it. We got it second hand and it doesn't really do anything but groan. I honestly don't know why we keep it. Also-every blender we buy dies a horrible horrible death the first time we use it.

Jennifer said...

food processor? you mean putting it in a bag and whacking it to pieces with my wooden rolling pin isn't food processing?

your pie looks AMAZING, and I would opt for peanut butter ice cream pie your way - with the pockets of peanut butter. YUM!

Oh, you could drizzle chocolate over it.

I think I need a snack.

p.s. LOL - my word verification is "nomme"