Thursday, September 30, 2010

The one where Heidi goes under the knife

As I mentioned previously, I decided to have a small benign lump on my arm removed. Mostly, I thought it looked funny and I didn't want to have a weird-looking pink thing on my alabaster arm anymore. Monday was the magic day, and I marched bravely into the procedure room at Naval Hospital Lemoore's family practice clinic full of proclamations about not being worried and it being no big deal.

Apparently my vagus nerve didn't get the memo, because as soon as the doctor injected my arm with lidocaine I blacked out--a classic vasovagal response. When I came to 10 seconds later I wasn't surprised at all that it had happened--this has been happening to me since I was 13. It's inconvenient, to say the least. I've taken to warning all of my doctors, nurses, lab techs, dentists--whomever--that this happens to me just so they don't think that I'm a huge spaz. I can't help it!
Since some of my episodes in the past have included seizures, I've been taking anti-convulsants since I was 19. I don't know if they do much to prevent me from blacking out, but I'll do whatever I can to prevent having any more seizures, which are a bit more dangerous than a few moments of sleepy time in the doctor's office.

We went ahead with the procedure despite the brain delay, and I'm now minus one lump and plus a set of stitches and a giant bruise. I'm getting the stitches out on Monday and hoping to retain consciousness while I do. Wish me luck!

While this procedure was elective, I don't really consider it full-fledged cosmetic surgery. Bumps and lumps can go years before becoming problematic, and I didn't want to leave anything to chance.

Don't worry, though, I'm not about to get all Heidi Montag on you guys any time soon. I won't rule out minor upkeep in the future, but I've seen enough to know that drastic plastic is not for me. After seeing Bev's post on List of the Day the other day, I know that I would never have lip injections. A little lift for my droopy Ds someday? Maybe. But at 28 years old, I know that hopping on the Stairmaster is a far better solution than the surgeon's table for most of my perceived flaws.

What's your philosophy on cosmetic surgery?

8 comments:

H.C. Bishop said...

Brave girl!

I have been known to pass out randomly over stuff like that. Once over seeing my own stitches when I was younger... another time over seeing stitches from my bit of plastic surgery. And countless times just getting piercings.

Best one: Right after the tattoo artist started the outline of my first tattoo... I passed out. I've gotten 10 more since and never had it happen again. I guess I was just so nervous the first time!

Bev said...

Yikes! Sounds scary, but I'm glad you got through it okay!

I'm on the fence about cosmetic surgery. Facial work seems pointless because people just end up looking weird. Botox seems okay in small doses. I think a boob job someday sounds pretty awesome, but after watching those surgery shows on TV it all looks pretty brutal!

Mostly I'm for aging gracefully and naturally and accepting some of life's battle wounds as marks of honor. :)

Brittany Ann said...

Oh, girly, you're brave! I have the same vasovagal response, minus the seizures, though my father does get those. And, therefore, I abhor most modern medicine.

Jamie said...

I reeeaaalllly need to get to a dermatologist and have the same thing done. But I'm scared. You are so brave!

Salt said...

I'm so glad you're okay. :) And that you aren't going to go Montag on us.

And I'm all for plastic surgery. If someone feels like they need to make a change, I say go for it. As of now, I'm the only woman on my mom's side of the family who hasn't had a facelift.

The Steffens said...

I'm pretty convinced I'm going to get a tummy tuck after I'm done having babies.

Jessica (Bayjb) said...

I would have passed out too watching all of that happen. And I'm not worried about you going all Montag :) We would stop you before then.

H.C. Bishop said...

I forgot to tell you, the title of this post reminds me of how they title Friends episodes! ha ha!

...yep. I have all 10 seasons.