I'd like to see Bob D. in that uniform, steam-mopping my floor.

Good Monday evening, chipmunks. I promised I'd be back, and here I am. We had a nice weekend of nothing in particular and it was lovely.

Friday we returned to P.F. Chang's in Fresno just in time to catch the tail end of their cheap drinks and appetizers happy hour, and the masses rejoiced at the thought of $2 draft PBRs and spring rolls hot from the fryer. What can I say? We're classy like that.

We eventually managed to roll ourselves out the door, at which time Jason thought going pants shopping was a good idea. Now, I only go pants shopping after fasting for two weeks, but to each his own, right? So we hit Macy's and Old Navy and now he has enough cargo shorts for the rest of his life.

After that, we headed to the cheap seats movie theater in Clovis, which just so happened to be the only place left in the valley showing Iron Man 2, which we had been on a mission to see after watching the first Iron Man last Monday. We spent $3 each on tickets, then about five times that on snacks. In case anyone wasn't aware, I have the hot pants for Robert Downey, Jr. I don't care what he's wearing, be it a robot suit, tuxedo, period costume à la Sherlock Holmes, or a carefully-placed pillow. It's all good, I love my Bob D.

Saturday we bought a sweet steam mop online (I'm SO excited for it to get here, am I lame or what?) and got the grocery shopping out of the way. We spent the evening sitting around at home, and it wasn't until after 9 that we realized that we'd forgotten to have dinner. I decided to play a game of bartender with myself instead, and all I can say about it is that you should really invite me to your parties. During my epic self-serve bar, I rewatched the first episode of Chasing Mummies on the History Channel. If you get History, I highly recommend this show, because mummies are pretty cool, but also because it is unintentionally hilarious. You never know what will come out of the mouth of Egypt's mummy boss Zahi Hawass, but I guarantee it will make you laugh. It's on Wednesdays at 10 p.m., so set your DVRs.

On Sunday we played uniform dress up, and I washed about 500 loads of uniforms. The new blue camis (NWUs in milspeak) have to be turned inside out before they're washed and must be dried on the lowest possible heat setting, or they'll fade out and be completely ruined. (On the upside, though, they do not have to be ironed.) Uniforms cost hundreds of dollars from top to bottom, so that was some high-stakes laundry. I must have done it right, though, because they all passed the Jason inspection and he headed off to work this morning looking quite military. I'd drop and give him twenty if he told me to.

In the meantime, I'll be sitting at the window waiting for UPS to bring me my steam mop.