Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Election Day by the Adult Beverages (oh, and some political stuff, too)

Drink 1, 6:45 PM: Chocolate banana amaretto shake. OK, I got off to a later start than I meant to, but I got a work call at 6:10 (WTF?) and then I wanted to take a shower. Will have to make up for this late start.

Drink 2, 7:45 PM: Apple cider with rum in my giant Hard Rock Café tumbler (shown at right with my other accoutrements for my evening of drink). Dinner too: leftover Indian food I made Saturday night. Surprisingly good with booze. I feel a slight buzz but I predict that it will fade as I eat. According to CBS, McCain is up 21 electoral votes to Obama's 3 (from Vermont) right now. CNN says McCain is only at 16. Anderson Cooper, MEEEEOW. CNN is calling several more states, making it: Obama 77, McCain 34. This is like a basketball game. Obama could smoke McCain on the court. CBS is reporting Obama 81, McCain 39; Obama leading the popular vote 52% to 47%. Katie Couric is wearing some cute glasses. My madre just called to ask if I am drunk yet. Nope... but man, is this cider and rum good. I just went and set my alarm clock to make sure that I wake up tomorrow. See you on the flip side, 8:45 AM. I love working from home. Roll out of bed, work in my pajamas. EMPLOYMENT WIN. Speaking of that, my work is supposedly sending me a computer with a flat screen monitor. I may start working at my desk instead of sitting on the couch with my laptop all the time. Watching all this election coverage, it's funny to think that in college I intended to work in journalism or politics. CBS reporter Byron Pitts: "Last time I checked, Presbyterians love Jesus just as much as any other Christians." Oh, SNAP! I LOLed. CNN is calling New Hampshire for Obama! CBS is calling Pennsylvania for Obama! Electoral votes according to CBS: Obama 102, McCain 45. Electoral votes according to CNN: Obama 102, McCain 34. I'm not going to make another drink until after I give Jasper his evening insulin. Needles and drunkenness are not a good match. I am an excellent decision-maker. By the way, was anybody else super-happy yesterday when Miss Heidi "I Drink to Excess at Work Events then Speak Condescendingly to My Boss" Montag got fired on The Hills? Or maybe I'm just a horrible person who takes pleasure in other people's failures. Electoral votes according to CBS: Obama 102, McCain 54. Boston's CBS affiliate, WBZ, is reporting that Question 3, the ban on greyhound racing, is passing so far, with the reporting districts polling 60% yes. I am close to crying. When we lived in Virginia, I had a coworker who had a rescued former racer. Needless to say, I voted yes on 3. As much as I dislike livign in Massachusetts, I am SO GLAD that I could be part of doing away with the digusting dog racing industry. Electoral votes according to CBS: Obama 174, McCain 100. CBS is calling the Michigan senatorial election for Carl Levin. Woohoo! I heart Carl. I am wearing Michigan State sweatpants and a Luther College hoodie (that's where my sister went--it's in Iowa). I'm sure these little details of my evening are thrilling. I'm feeling like I ought to break up this paragraph, but eeeehhhhh... I have finished my cider and rum and can feel it now. Good thing I had dinner. Definitely not making another drink until after Big Kitty's shot. CBS is reporting the popular vote at Obama 50%, McCain 49%. Yikes. Just talked to my husband on the phone for 40 minutes. Best time killer I could think of. Told him I'll try not to drunk dial him later. Still slightly tipsy. Will do Jasper's insulin soon. WBZ is reporting that New England states are polling solidly for Obama and John Kerry will retain his Senate seat. Word.

Drink 3, 10 PM: Another big cider and rum. Why mess with a good thing? Was successful in administering Jasper's insulin. A few minutes ago Bob Schieffer said something about thinking that Barack Obama will win tonight, and the near-mathematic impossibility of McCain catching up. I love that Katie Couric is wearing pink. Popular vote is still close, says CBS: Obama 50%, McCain 49%. Electoral vote is at Obama 206, McCain 135. I kind of feel like we should do away with the electoral college. Why not let the popular vote be the deciding factor? And I do not feel this way just because Al Gore would have won in 2000. Doesn't it seem like the fair way to do things? I just switched over to VH1 for a minute, and this girl just said, "I only have time for two things, and that's tanning and drinking." I don't tan, but I guess I am not one to judge tonight, huh? The show is Rock of Love Charm School. Apparently Sharon Osborne is the headmistress and she calls everyone Mrs. I think this is excellent. CBS is putting the electoral vote at Obama 206, McCain 141. The same commercial that's on CBS is on CNN right now. I do not like that at all. Fox is calling Virginia for Obama. Yes, FOX. ABC's saying Obama 207, McCain 141. I'm pretty sure Douglas Brinkley, a "presidential historian" on CBS, is wearing a toupee. Either that or it's a really bad comb-over. My drinks make me have to pee a lot.

11 PM: CBS IS CALLING THE ELECTION FOR OBAMA. And I am losing my shit right now. CNN is calling it, too. And Fox. All of the major networks are. I think Byron Pitts is losing his shit a little bit, too. He's visibly choked up. WBZ, Boston's CBS affiliate, is reporting that McCain has called Obama to congratulate him. It must be so electric in Grant Park in Chicago right now. Jesse Jackson is definitely losing his shit. WBZ is showing him in Grant Park with tears streaming down his face. I saw Jesse Jackson speak during college. He was amazing. John McCain is conceding right now. He just said that he called Obama a moment ago, and people in the crowd started booing. To his credit, he held out his hands and said "please." Please, indeed. Have some class, folks. But you know who does have class? John McCain. Fantastic speech. Boo to the people booing after the Obama and Joe Biden mentions, but yay to McCain for, in effect, telling them to shut the fuck up. Seriously, props to you, John McCain. I may not have voted for you, and I may have cringed every time you said "my friends," but I have always had a lot of respect for you. And your mom is wicked cute. And you have excellent speech writers.

The Obama show is beginning. I didn't catch who the speaker is, but he appears to be a minister of some sort. WBZ is switching back over to Katie Couric. CBS electoral vote call: Obama 333, McCain 155. The CBS reporter in Chicago just said that President Bush has called Obama to congratulate him. Somebody in the CBS studio is talking about the historic amount of women just elected to the Senate--today brings it to 17. Well done, fellow vagina-possessors. Apparently people--students, CBS says--are celebrating outside the White House. Just a few short months, kids.

11:55 PM: Here comes Obama! His daughters look SO excited. Speech time. YEEESSSS new puppy (please, please adopt from a shelter)! YES WE CAN. The story about the 106-year-old lady voting in Atlanta? TEARS. Yes, yes, YES, WE CAN. And we did! And we will do.

Goodnight, America.


Bayjb said...

Wow that is a serious Election Day party. I'm coming over next time :)

Angela said...

You're too funny.