Saturday, May 8, 2010

Operation Blubber Buster: One month in

I mentioned yesterday that I'm cracking down on what I eat in order to reset my brain. I know, it's a bit of a reversal from what I said previously, that I'm not going to stop with the food. I still stand by that--I'm not going to swear off eating tasty things (not forever, anyway). But I do need to get serious for a little while if anything is ever going to change weight-wise. I even turned down Jason's offer to take me to the Indian buffet for lunch today. (Darling man, he doesn't really understand what is going on with me.)

I started exercising a month ago. After initially (and inexplicably) gaining four pounds that first week, I'm now four pounds down from my starting weight. So I guess I've worked off eight pounds total, but let's pretend that uptick didn't happen and just call it four.

It's hard to say for sure, though, because my scale is schizophrenic. I weighed myself yesterday and was pretty pleased with what I saw, so I weighed myself again. Apparently I gain weight just by breathing, because I was suddenly two pounds heavier. The same thing happened this morning, with a one pound increase. This happens all the time, too, even when I'm not shifting my weight around and curling my toes over the edge of the scale the first time I weigh in. I gained five pounds when I had one bowl of chili for dinner the other night.

What the fruitcake? If my scale weren't on the expensive side, I'd leave it out in the yard and wait for the neighborhood urchins to walk away with it.

Functioning scale or not, I have a long way to go. These are some of the unflattering fat pictures from our wedding that I never thought I would allow to see the light of day--and that was two and a half years and 20+ pounds ago. I wish I still looked like that--and these are pretty bad! (Click to enlarge.)

Those jeans don't fit anymore and my double chin is way bigger now.

Double the chin, and enough white girl booty to make Sir Mix-A-Lot proud.

Arm blubber. Gross.

Back fat. Also gross.

Baaaaack faaaaaat. It looks like an oozing tube of crescent roll dough.

I know, I'm being unnecessarily self-critical. But photos like these are what force me to be realistic about what I look like. Being mean to myself keeps me going. Nobody loses weight by making excuses about bad lighting and unfortunate angles.


Jamie said...

But you have a bunny hoodie. A BUNNY HOODIE. Of course I think we're harder on ourselves then other people would be, but I think it's because we always have to be WITH ourselves.
Which level of Jillian's "work till you cry or die" workout have you made it too? I can't get past two- just watching level three makes me curl into the fetal position.

Heidi Renée said...

I love that hoodie! If only it still fit.

I'm still doing level one. The cardio circuits have me GASPING for breath, but I can do the strength moves - except for pushups - Natalie-style. I have thought about moving to the second level though, for variety.

Jessica (Bayjb) said...

I love your wedding photos. Your dress is amazing. And congrats on the good start to the Operation. It takes time but it'll come together

the V said...

You are beautiful in all shapes Heidi, but I too know the difficulty in living with your body. as a sign of solidarity, here are some facts to help you along the way --

1, Each day your weight can fluxuate about 2 pounds. Try to weight yourself only once a day, at the same time (in the same clothes preferably), to get the most accurate information

2, Your body is meant to change with your monthly cycle, so some weeks it's easy to retain water. Most women this is 3-5 pounds, but it can be up to ten!

3, When you first start working out you put on muscle faster than your metabolism adjusts, so it's totally normal (and good!) you gain weight at first.

4, processed sugars and high glycemic foods stay with you more than any other. if you can cut these out, things change fast and you can still have homemade sweets as a treat.

mostly, remember it's a journey, don't beat yourself up if every second doesn't see you smaller!

Anonymous said...

Hey girl - hang in there. It's only healthy to lose something like 2 lbs a week, so don't think you can drop weight so quickly and still be healthy!

You will get there...the trick is simple: burn more calories than you eat.

Your wedding pictures are still very nice. You have such a flair and confidence and this shines through. :)

I don't know if this is relevant...but I stay far far far away from ALL processed foods - trans fats make calories and fat stick no matter what you do - and also, skip the fake sugar. it's worse for you than a touch of real sugar would be. :)

Anonymous said...

P.S. you can do it! :) And, you really inspire me to cook more meals - I love your foodie friday.

You can achieve anything you want, I can't wait to read about your successes!